I still struggle with allowing myself to show how sensitive and vulnerable I often feel. Sometimes, I feel like I'm doing something wrong if I show how sensitive I am, so I shut down and hide what's going on for me. I'm so good at it that it takes some time for me to realise I've "checked out".
It's as if I step outside my body, and go off to some place safe until the feelings go away. To the outside world, I look hard and strong. In the inside, Im hiding.
Have to put on a brave face.
Gotta be strong.
Afraid I'll be rejected if you see how insecure I am.
Scared you won't love if you know I need you.
Terrified I'll be destroyed if I let the walls around my heart crumble, if I let down my guard.
Not allowed to be vulnerable...
I've been practicing this for a long time, and It's been scary to change, but I've found it is so worth it. The times I can allow myself to feel, to be me. Even when I'm imperfect and things get messy. It's worth it.
Being sensitive and allowing myself to be vulnerable doesn't mean being hyper emotional, and using crying as a form of communication (which is something I dowhen I'm not in tune with my emotions, and start acting from an inner child, immature frame - which is ok too, just not honest communication). Being sensitive is about allowing yourself to be aware of your emotions, accepting them. And as a student of the law of attraction and practicing positive thinking, doing my best to focus on something wittge very general, or positive until I feel better about whatever triggered the emotions in the first place.
Each time I step out of my comfort zone and share who I truly am, not only do I deepen my relationship with myself, but with others in my life too. It's a win win situation.
Just because I've been rejected in the past, doesn't have anything to do with what's happening now, or what might happen in the future.
That's Gods business. Not mine.
My business is to make sure I never abandon or reject myself again. To take care of the precious me. All of me.
I recognise that being a delicate, sensitive soul doesn't mean I'm weak, it means that there's a part of me that needs to be taken care of, acknowledged and loved. It is only through self love that we can truly grow into the people we wanted to be when we were children. It's time to step into love.
Accepting and loving every aspect of my nature is my goal for this year. I have a few others, but unconditional self love is high on the list.
JustSayin #Authenticity #myvulnerabilityismystrength #HappyDays #Love #MorningMusings